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Joke of the Day

"England 1 - 2 Iceland Credits to Iceland though, can't take that away."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar Schrodinger's cat walks out of a bar"

"I can't be bothered with trivial details. Like facts."

"What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if i know."

"Little on the nose that the Pope's riding around in a Fiat, isn't it? But then, I guess we know he's into that Fiat luxe."

"If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks."

"America! Where we celebrate mediocrity! 15 year olds should not be praised for losing 50 pounds while still being 300 plus..."

"What does a jock douchebag and a strict catholic have in common? They're both obsessed with their mass every day."

"I went to buy a Christmas tree. The guy said, ""Are you gonna put it up yourself?"" I said, ""No, I was thinking the living room."""

"Why should you never kiss a slutty bird? Because you might get chirpies, which is a canararial disease, but don't worry, it's tweetable."