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Joke of the Day

"Why was the hamster a bad Supreme Court Justice? Because his mind was always on a pellet."

"Q: How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ""Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"""

"It was announced today that General Electric bought the Italian airline, Alitalia The new company will be called GenItalia"

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"My buddy went to a Halloween party as Jesus on the cross... Everyone said he pretty much nailed it"

"Ain't no party like a Neal Brennan party cuz Neal Brennan quietly resents you for making a mess."

"Scientists have spliced the DNA of a human with a sea cow. Oh, the humanatee."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So I could hit her with my car and shut everyone up."

"What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time? Occasionally (OK Asian Lee)."

"Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse The judge asks to clarify, ""The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"" ""No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"""