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Joke of the Day

"How did the hooker kill herself.. She blew her brains out!"

"I was listening to my wife argue with our 5 y/o. I didn't want to tell her he was right so karate chopped the TV to create a diversion."

"If I could time travel I'd go to my funeral and take names of people who seemed to be handling it a little too well."

"Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight..."

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!"""

"Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Boom, problem solved!"

"Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready."

"What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor? A Manila Folder."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who switched to Spam? He said it's the greatest thing since sliced Fred"

"Star Wars Force Awakens joke Im Seriously concerned about new star wars. If this continues, Well then im very interested, How will the Rey with her training, run with Old Skywalker on her back"