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Joke of the Day

"When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs? I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs."

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"I suck in my stomach when I weigh myself like my scale will be all ""oh she's much thinner than I thought, I'll adjust the numbers."""
"I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba."
"FOX News is a Mecca for people who hate Mecca."
"Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone."
"What's the difference between an apple an a dead baby? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it"
"What's a fireman's favourite drink? Water."
"If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day? Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide."
"I bet old hobbit ladies watched a lot of ""Mordor, She Wrote."""
"What is Hitler's IP address? holocalhost"