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Joke of the Day

"Why don't rabbits makes noise during sex? Because they have cotton balls."

"Before we begin, does everyone know how to leave the cursor in the middle of every video? Good. - 1st day of teaching school"

"Whats Black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee, ya racist."

"monica lewinsky had one job.... and she sucked at it."

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Aromatic and with a bit of foam floating at the top."

"[tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?"

"If 7 out of 10 sports fans have below average intelligence, what percentage of sports fans is that? 110%. [Aaaaaand we prove once again that morons are humorless. Really should know that by now.]"

"What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."

"Excuse me, but do you need the Jaws of Life? Because damn girl, you're crushin' it"