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Joke of the Day

"One time cancer got a terminal case of Chuck Norris."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave 'till his Bill Withers."

"I just got my medication for my depression. I'll kill myself if I don't take it."

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning."

"How do telegraph operators apologize? Remorse code"

"So /r/The_Donald... That's it, what a joke."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye I broke up with her though, cos I'm pretty sure she was seeing someone on the side. Credit to /u/MoreMajorSins for this awesome dad joke!"

"How Did Norse Marsupials Write Their Sagas? In Kangarunes."

"what if everyone's dick had its own little dick well see ya later"

"Mom on Logic Finished Logic class, attempting to explain Boolean algebra to Mom. She listens intently, waits for me to finish, and said ""Bouillon?? That's for soup!"""