89214

Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."

"shit. the number the girl at the Sprint store gave me is MY number"

"Whenever I confront the messy baker I'm always walking on eggshells."

"Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends."

"A joke my grandfather told me Women's rights"

"I'm a slow runner unless I think I left my phone unlocked in the next room, in which case I'm Usain Bolt."

"What does the boy from Manila spread on his toast? Filipeanut Butter."

"Did you hear about the pirate who got in trouble at work? He was reported to H-arrrrr"

"Why was Crassus bad at insults? He never really got the hang of Parthian shots."

"Why do men pay more for car insurance? Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving."