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Joke of the Day

"Why is their always lightning in France? Obviously, since lightning takes the path of least resistance."

"PATIENT: Since I got this new job my feet are killing me. DR DOG: What's your job? PATIENT: Mailman DR DOG: *chases him out of room barking*"

"Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't? A: Her navel."

"I stopped a kidnapping today.. I woke him up"

"Why did the perv leave? Because he came."

"My neighbor asked me to keep an eye on his house while he's out of town. I've already texted him ""Your house isn't on fire"" 42 times."

"If Jesus had 4 arms He could have escaped"

"- Dad, can I borrow 10 pounds? - 15 pounds? Why do you need 20 pounds?"

"My friends and I are camping out tonight. It's gonna be in tents."

"What does a sock taste like? Defeat"