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Joke of the Day

"Why did the oven go back to University? To get another degree. - My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me."

"Called the rape advice hotline last night.. Apparently it's only for victims."

"I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!"

"Some people won't stop complaining about Steam's new updates... ... I guess they just can't see the Big Picture. (Just thought of this and wanted to share.)"

"I saw a billboard that said, ""Be her Romeo"" and featured a pic of a diamond ring. Apparently they have not read Shakespeare."

"A joke from the Future. *#58821*"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without some other guy's dick in it."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. All credit goes to the apples and apples folks."

"How many anti-social teens does it take to ignore a burned-out light bulb? None of your fuckin business!"

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."