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Joke of the Day

"Build a fire for a man and he will be warm for a night... Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

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"My biggest fear is that someone will say ""Git-R-Dun"" while I'm holding my child. Because I will instinctively swing my baby at their face."
"A friend of mine has a trophy wife... apparently it wasn't first place."
"What's the right age to tell an adopted child it's a highway?"
"Lol (sorry for my bad english)"
"What's the worst thing to say to a hipster? You remind me of someone"
"THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?"
"What is the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass. Yup, from HIMYM, but I believe in the episode Barney asked, ""What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?"""
"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a child molester? Alien vs Predator"
"What do Zero and Nil have in common? Absolutely nothing"