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Joke of the Day

"So two condoms walk into a bar... One looks at the other and says ""did you know this is a gay bar?"" ""Well yeah"" said the first condom, ""I plan on getting shitfaced tonight."""

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"I respected tiger sharks a lot more after I realized how many hurdles tigers and sharks had to overcome to breed with each other."
"""When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'"" - teacher to class full of Gods"
"What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One's a bottom-dwelling, muck-sucker and the other is a fish."
"Reckless driving, pot allegations and cop visits, Justin Bieber is a bad wig away from being the next Amanda Bynes."
"What did the apple say to the apple pie? ""You've got some crust."""
"Hell hath no fury like woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat."
"Who do you ask about Donald Trump's stamina? His daughter."
"""No way."" -Jose"
"Why did the US citizen cross the road? To cross the border into Canada."