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Joke of the Day

"What was the pedophile's favourite drink? The milkshake, because it brought all the boys to his yard"

"What do you call a marine animal who under-performs at the vegetable academy? A C-cucumber."

"What do you call wifi in space? Mars Bars"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was assaulted"

"sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while..."

"I totally owned the mosh pit at the One Direction concert last night."

"Why did princess Diana cross the street? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

"Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in."

"What does a blonde and a shotgun have in common? You break them at the middle and load them from behind"

"GENIE: you have three wishes ME: make math go away GENIE: ha ok that one's on the house ME: oh so I still get three wishes? GENIE: huh?"