89010

Joke of the Day

"What do you call two people having sex in the bushes? Thornication"

"I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he'd picked up every time."

"My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song ""Get Off the Stage or Die."" Elvis, maybe?"

"Why is Shakespeare bad at hunting? because he can't aim steadily"

"Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days..."

"Hear about the farmer that stepped on a rake? He had two acres."

"I'm concentrating so hard on trying not to eat a third cupcake that I literally can't do my job"

"What's brown and sticky? My poster of Beyonce."

"What do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair? Rolaids"

"Lincoln and Twilight opening the same weekend? Once again, Abe gets killed in a theater, and he's already fought vampires once this year."