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Joke of the Day

"Cutting out gluten is a great way to lose weight and friends"

"Two men. Two homosexual men are having sex and die instantaneously. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because his shits already packed."

"Never answer knocking at your door. It's always people. Always. Never giant chocolate bars. Only people."

"I think my Pokemon Go is broken, I held up the camera but all I caught was cops killing black folk"

"*sees a spider* I'm going to kill him *turn around to get a shoe* *turns back around and spider has 8 shoes* Alright, let's be cool here"

"Saw a guy masturbating on the bus today... Where does he get off?!? (credit to Hampton Yount)"

"I won the Most Unreliable Employee award. I'll collect it when I can be bothered to go back in."

"What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador."

"What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch? Namaste"

"People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects."