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Joke of the Day

"So i was trying to come up with a short joke about Catholic priests... But all the little ones were taken :v"

"Did you hear? Lorainna Bobbitt dies in a car accident! She was merging into traffic, and some dick cut her off."

"- Baby, I can't sleep. - And it was pissing you off that I could?"

"choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun"

"Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day"

"Right now the parents of the kid who climbed Trump Tower are thinking ""Damn I knew we shouldn't have given him that REI gift card"""

"Guys can we please begin calling Krav Maga ""Jew Jitsu?"" I'm pretty serious about this but I don't know where to post it."

"Someone you don't care about just listened to a song you don't like on Spotify!"

"Just dropped a book on my head guess I am only to blame my shelf"

"""Knock Knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""It's the Police, sir."" ""You'll have to wait, I'm having a shit."" ""We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!"""