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Joke of the Day

"You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, ""No one will ever believe you."""

"How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb? How many did it take last year?"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You don't milk a cow for 10 years"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Peace Prize? He was out standing in his field."

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief? He had loco motives."

"She blindfolded me and said she was going to put heaven on my lips. I asked what kind of pizza it was. I woke up outside with a concussion"

"Yo mama so fat... ... slapping her belly causes gravitational waves. OR ... every step she takes causes a ripple in special relativity."

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter they don't have any power."

"My plane has an entire high school wrestling team on it, so I imagine we'll crash in a forest & I'll become their King."

"Weezer first to rustle jimmies? Say it aint so | ... (hint 1:06)"