190505

Joke of the Day

"Paddy needs to get his shit together"

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"My parents took away my mood ring . . . . . . I don't know how I feel about it."
"What makes you sweat during the summer? A sweater."
"Q: Why do they always fly around a live turkey in a cage on Air Force 1? A: For spare parts."
"Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ? Santa Jaws !"
"High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway"
"What do you get when you click to see the punchline? DEEZ NUTS"
"My professor just told the WORST physics joke What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing, cause you can't cross a scalar and a vector!"
"My favorite name for a planet is Saturn... it has a nice ring to it."
"A man is waiting on the bus... ""Would you mind coming down?"" The driver asked politely."