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Joke of the Day

"in GTA5 my dude was driving fast and I got a text IRL. when I looked down at my phone I crashed & flew out the windshield. #ItCanWait"

"It makes sense why women hate premature ejaculation so much Our whole lives we're taught that nothing worth having comes easy."

"What did the regular hotel room say to the fancy hotel room Oh suite! This was made up by my 11 year old son, I thought it was fist bump worthy."

"Women have eggs and milk in them... And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen."

"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already"

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because they weren't born yesterday."

"What's 11q minus 1q? You're welcome."

"Wait a second ... Water parks have restrooms ... For what?!"

"My neighbor was a vampire When I stabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake, she died."

"How could batman possibly defeat superman? Put him on a horse I'm now going to hell with the rest of you..."