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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear a good abortion joke? Uhhh... Nevermind.."

"all the haters throwimg tomatos at me while im on stage dont seem to understand that im always lookimg for extra tomatos to make soup with"

"A recent survey shows... A recent survey shows that nine out of ten people masturbate in the shower. Do you know what the tenth does? No? I guess you're one of the nine then."

"Thanks to Twitter I now consider 140 characters ""literature""."

"Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica."

"What do you call it when... You put a pillow on a stool? You call it a stool softener cheesiest joke I made up"

"What did the fertilizer say to the grass? I'm the shit."

"Why can't a fish be a radio host? Because if he goes on air, he'll die."

"Have you heard the joke about recursion?"

"My cow Rosie won 3 blue ribbons at last year's 4H show so I have pretty high hopes for her at this year's chili cook off."