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Joke of the Day

"Me, as a judge: OK we'll take a quick recess now. *lawyers start discussing lawyer things* *I go outside and swing on the swingset*"

"Why is religion like mobile gaming? Free-to-pray, pray-to-win."

"At first I wondered why the ball was getting closer. Then it hit me."

"Our sex.. Would be a lot like eating caterpillars, a little awkward at first but totally worth it once butterflies sprayed out my butt. Top this pickup line so I can steal it and use it later."

"Who cares that Bush did 9/11? Its not that bad or particularly good. Its 82% that's a low ""B""."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? by having sex with her"

"Guy to a friend, ""I just got a new job"" Friend ""oh yeah doing what?"" Guy ""fucking your mom, it's got good health benefits"""

"I always leave the room when my son's imaginary friend comes to play. I've seen 'The Sixth Sense' and frankly, I'm not taking any chances."

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can. 2/10"

"WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. Mew. Mew. WHO LET THE CATS OUT? Mew. Mew. MRRROOW! HSSSSS! MRRROOW! HSSSSS! FUCK! HE'S AN INSIDE CAT!"