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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a"

"Sometimes I find it hard to express myself because FedEx hears me breathing."

"What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver? The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: ""Damn it!"" The bad sky diver goes ""Damn it!"" ::Whack::"

"Lynyrd Skynyrd wrote a song about how great Alabama is, and the only thing they could come up with is that the sky is really blue."

"Autocorrect is like that person who just graduated college and think they know everything."

"How many Northern Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hella"

"how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the back, 2 in the front, ad six million in the ashtray."

"A short one for classical musicians I once owned a frying pan that once belonged to the great Leopold Stokowski. It was non-stick."

"When i apply to the job... Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I've always been really passionate about not starving to death."