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Joke of the Day

"My Girlfriend Called Me A Pedophile... I said: ""That's an awfully big word for a 6 year old!"""

"Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some Especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping. _______________ I stole this joke."

"I went to Penn State as a tight end. I left as a wide receiver."

"A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar."

"Two prostitutes are walking down the street... One turns to the other and asks ""have you been picked up by the fuzz yet?"" The other replies ""No, but I've been slung around by my tits"""

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light-bulb? You can un-screw the light-bulb"

"I told my wife .. if she ever wanted to try anal sex, I'd be behind her all the way."

"As our exhausted bodies lay down on the bed... She turned to me and said, ""What do you think of post-sex?"" ""I can't say I've ever fucked a letter box."" I replied."

"Bernie demands change... whereas Hillary prefers cards or cheques."

"At this point I'm a little offended the lady at #Chipotle still asks what I want. This is my 4th burrito today. Bitch, I know you know me."