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Joke of the Day

"An extremely close friend just confided in me that he likes comic sans. He is no longer my close friend."

"What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway!"

"""I always feel so self-conscious when I'm out in public,"" I told my girlfriend. ""Don't worry, you aren't that ugly,"" she sniggered. I said, ""No, but you are."""

"How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ? Chick to chick !"

"Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing."

"My mother said that I looked ""cheap"" with my bra showing underneath my clothes - so I took my bra off."

"What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables? Stephen Hawking."

"What does a toilet, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in common? Men usually miss all three."

"Did you know - what is the best thing to put on a delicious cake ? Your MOUTH !!"

"""Vintage designer purses are not a retirement plan,"" says my accountant while rubbing his temples."