191323

Joke of the Day

"Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago."

"What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart? A tutor."

"Babies are the two extremes on the spectrum of smell. They either smell like heaven filled with lollipops or a microwaved porta-potty."

"[lights focus on guy in interrogation room] ""Say it. SAY IT."" *points at sign saying ""Worcestershire Sauce""*"

"What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer? Leukemia Skywalker."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her"

"I always wanted to be just like my mother. Today I'm working on dramatically clutching my throat when I'm told the price of anything."

"Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me."

"The woman who first decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize."

"What do you call a terrorist with eight legs? An Iraqnid."