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Joke of the Day

"wife: We really need to start teaching 9 some manners me: *shoving an entire Pop-Tart in my mouth and spitting crumbs everywhere* I agree"

"What do near-sighted gynecologists and little puppies have in common? A wet nose"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my cock up your mom's ass"

"Lost your keys? Why not try looking in the same two places 16 times whilst getting increasingly angrier"

"Why did the nun always wear a slip? Sheer habit."

"if seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? bagels"

"Questionably funny ""Knock Knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Police"" ""Police who?"" ""Police open the door"" Posted this in anti-jokes since it is not really funny, and was told to put it here."

"My girlfriend is the square root of -100 She's a solid 10 but also imaginary"

"WIFE: Where's the dog? *flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who pee in the shower, those who don't, and those who didn't realize this joke was in trinary."