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Joke of the Day

"So, being ironically stupid is funny... But being an Ironic Sociopathic Murderer is still being a murderer? I'll never get people sometimes."

"The sonogram of your baby looks awesome!* So clear!** And he looks happy!*** *Creepy **Is it a human? ***I think you're having a racoon"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is very heavy and the other is a little lighter."

"My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them."

"The last item on my bucket list is dying. How convenient."

"""Jill look out the window..."" ""...there's a horse in our yard."" ""No Jack, it's not a horse, it's a cow!"" ""I said look out the window, not in the mirror!"""

"Don't invest in skiing companies The whole sport is going down hill fast"

"I met a girl at a club the other night and she told me she'd show me a good time. When we got outside, she ran 100m in 9.69 seconds."

"whats the difference between jam and jelly? cant jelly my dick in your ass..."

"I was recently diagnosed with depression It made me sad"