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Joke of the Day

"They planned the date when the Burj Khalifa would be finished in advance... They wanted to know when it'd be due by"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Junkie Barbie ...complete with needle tracks"

"Why was 9 afraid of 10? Because 10 11 12."

"Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter? They were ravin' with Raven."

"How do I tell a guy that I'm only interested in him because I'd like to take selfies with his puppy?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me five times, good job, you're the guy who makes the trailers for the Paranormal Activity movies."

"""you okay man?"" listen dude... i know what im doing *lights a cigarette backwards* ive seen Guy Code like six times"

"What do Alan Turing and a well-mixed solution have in common? They're both homo-genius."

"Why is it OK for an ice company to commit fraud? Because their assets are already frozen."

"My brother and I know EVERYTHING between the two of us. Go ahead, ask something..."