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Joke of the Day

"What did the maxi-pad say to the fart? ""You are the wind beneath my wings."""

"""Grow a pear."" - How to insult an apple tree"

"Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that killed two of his clients? Police are looking for a small medium at large."

"What do you find with 4 Catholics? A fifth."

"Since I live my financial life under water I decided to put a ""Beware of sharks"" sign in my front yard."

"Did you hear about the Bob Marley impersonator? He's dreadful."

"Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party."

"Why do they like to watch Star Wars on the big screen on aircraft carriers? They're all about force projection."

"Here it is, folks: ""Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"""

"If I ever saw an amputee being hung, I'd start yelling out letters."