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Joke of the Day

"I do not have bad attitude... I have a low tolerance for bullsh1t."

"I'm no fan of Smokey the Bear. He's just the first step on the slippery slope to vigilantism."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the ugly guy's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken."

"Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken."

"Autocorrect: Can't live with it, can't live meow it."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick."

"I'm not a fan of male-to-female sex change surgery... It just seems like a dick move."

"so you teens like ""selfies"" huh? well if you picked up a bible now and then you would know god did selfies when he created us in his image"

"I liked that new movie about the masseuse. It had a happy ending."

"Why is Jesus terrible at hockey? He keeps getting pinned to the boards."