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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? A: To tax the chicken."
Next Joke
"I heard Bernie Sanders lost a delegate to the millionaire in a coin toss. The difference was a Quarter of 1%."
"Horse floats found to be incorrectly labeled in ferry disaster."
"If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple Thank you.' is all I need! Not all this How did you get in my house?' business!"
"My son keeps running around naked, so I sprayed him with Windex. It's supposed to prevent streaking."
"My brain hurts. That means it's getting stronger. Right?"
"What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you take out the sausage."
"What are the most racist jokes you know? There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died. What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool? Coco puffs."
"What do Mike Piazza, and an altar boy have in common? They were both catchers for the Padres."
"[speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding"