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Joke of the Day

"John McAfee's doing paper work to become president... Time for America to become bloated and slow..."

"Luke, I am your uncle. Luke, I am your third cousin. Luke, I am your grandmother. - Skywalker family reunion"

"I spilled spot remover on my dog... ... He's gone now (credit to Steven Wright)"

"I used to be addicted to soap... I'm clean now."

"What's cold and always runs from a fight? Coward ice."

"just saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident."

"Why did the drunk guy call the sheep Legolas? Because it was a cloud"

"If you drill a hole through the planet and drop a stone into it, how far does it fall Three feet and then the green rock eater eats it"

"if you get killed while you have to pee your ghost will have to pee but it can't"

"What do SpongeBob and LeBron James have in common? They both hit the deck and flop like a fish."