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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris... Walks up the elevator."

"Did you ever hear about the vegan, the atheist, and the crossfitter who walked into a bar together? I don't know how you haven't heard about them, they told everyone."

"I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'. It means a lot."

"Celebrating Memorial Day by not romanticizing the military."

"My sister's got hay fever, and now she has diabetes. I tried to cheer her up. You know, the usual. Flowers, chocolates"

"Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me."

"When I die I want to go quietly, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and freaked out, like his passengers were."

"My penis is as long as the line from Q to P Unfortunately the queue to pee outside the restroom isnt long :("

"When I was young, my dad told me chocolate milk came from brown cows. I really envied little black breastfed babies after that."

"I don't trust stairs They are always up to something."