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Joke of the Day

"Pretty arrogant of Red Delicious Apples to put ""delicious"" in their name. Like calm down. You're still just an apple. You ain't no prize."

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"What's the difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara falls."
"Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public... I guess she wanted it to be more Loki."
"What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phlegm"
"What do identical stars do? Twin-kle"
"Just heard they're investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE"
"My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower."
"""FOR SALE: blender, like new. Does NOT make things taste like crayons ALSO FOR SALE: wax fruit, slightly scratched."""
"What is the difference between an egg and a redditor? Eggs get laid at least once."
"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter."
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