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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? BABOOM!!"

"My teacher in first grade said I was stupid for ""wanting to be a T-Rex"" when I grew up but she died last year so who's the stupid one now?"

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on"

"Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose)."

"Jesus is all like eat my body, drink my blood and I'm all like dude, I only like you as a friend."

"Best love poem Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm bad at poetry, date me"

"C sections. They really take it out of you."

"I feel sorry for the wasted sperm Some of them turn out stupid, run for President and win."

"My teen thought it'd be funny to unfriend me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!"

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferarri."