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Joke of the Day

"""Daaaaaaaaaaaad, what should I do with this industrial roll of bubble wrap?"" ""Just pop it in the corner please"" It took me 2 hours."

"How does a cheerleader answer the phone? H-E-L-L-O!"

"Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler."

"A farmer's cattle broke out of their pen and got into the marijuana plants he was growing. The steaks were really high."

"""I am not a human garbage disposal"" *eats leftover mac n cheese anyway* *makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*"

"Red Fern Q: Where does the red fern grow? A: In Lindsey Lohan's crotch!"

"In the Garden of Eden... In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it."

"By 98 to 1, U.S. Senate passes amendment saying climate change is real, not a hoax."

"What Do You Call A Jewish Dilemma? Free Ham"

"What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna? You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue?) I knew you'd get stuck on that"