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Joke of the Day

"According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now"

"Evening commute One inch of snow will do this to you in DC"

"Dear Father Christmas could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!. Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!"

"Ate a bowl of Captain Crunch Berries this morning. With blatant disregard for the roof of my mouth. -thug life"

"How do you make a fat chick orgasm? Who cares....."

"I just ate a salad that was so bad, Nicolas Cage is starring in a movie about it."

"""Why are you so excited?"" the surgeon asked the patient that was about to be anesthetized. ""But doc this is my first operation."" ""Really? It's mine too and I am not excited at all."""

"How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor."

"What happened when the Malaysian asked the Russian out on a date? He got shot down."

"Hayao Miyazaki retired That's it. The guy is quit the troll."