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Joke of the Day

"An amoralist, a nihilist, and a world-weary cynic walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve minors in here.""."

"What did Helen Keller say when she fell off the cliff? Nothing, she had her mittens on."

"I love when girls say they need a man that can keep up with them... but immediately go into hysterics when I catch them."

"What did the red light say to the green light Don't look. I'm changing"

"A guy goes the video store... - Excuse me, could I rent Batman Forever? - Sorry but you'll have to bring it back tomorrow. :("

"What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"TIL Steve Harvey was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Oh wait, no he wasn't. My mistake."

"How do you know a chinese thief has broken into your house? All of your rice is gone, your computer is fixed, and the mother fucker is still trying to back out of the driveway."

"Did you try turning your relationship off and then back on again?"

"Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish."