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Joke of the Day

"Ways to get me naked: 1. Be hot 2. Be funny 3. Be alcohol 4. Pretend to be my gynecologist"

"I don't enjoy winning against The God of Thunder... He is always a Thor loser."

"What kind of bee can never be understood? A mumble-bee."

"What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?"

"He did it again! Cop: ""What's in the bottle?"" Me: ""It's water."" Cop: ""This is wine."" Me: ""What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"""

"Why did Ahmed Mohamed put his clock in a pencil case? because pipe clock would have just been stupid."

"[radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?"

"How do you get a French girl pregnant? Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the rest."

"Let's simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call."

"WHY DOES THIS BOTTLE OF BODY WASH HAVE DIRECTIONS PRINTED ON IT"