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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) I made my girl so wet last night... ...that bitch is STILL crying..."

"Why don't pencils and graph paper get along? Because they're made out of graphite"

"Why was the cop absent from work? He had swine flu"

"So I was on tindr today and someone offered me a $125/hr ""girlfriend experience"" So she expects me to pay her 125 an hour to argue with me in the middle of an Applebee's!?"

"""May I take your order?"" the waiter asked. ""Yes how do you prepare your chickens?"" ""Nothing special sir"" he replied. ""We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."""

"I asked my mum what she had bought me for my birthday? She said, ""I've bought you an Apple Mac."" Most people would be over the moon with hearing this, I'm not 'cause... My name is Mac."

"Pirate: The cannons be ready, captain. Captain: Are."

"Lets try it once A husband asks his wife to try anal...she says, Ohhhh that reminds me with the school days."

"An electrician beat himself with live wires His wife called the police He was charged with battery."

"Why could the brony butterfly just barely not fly? He was a Fluttershy Posted it because My Little Pony jokes that don't insult bronies are a Rarity."