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Joke of the Day

"What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe? I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard."

"It's a plant shaped like an egg. EGGPLANT! It's a place where we make fire. FIREPLACE! Diving in the sky. SKYDIVING! Humans are creative."

"Where does Moses get his coffee? Hebrews it."

"I was so angry when I found my wife's profile on a dating website. That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around""."

"Where do most illegal immigrants go in America? Allah-bama."

"Just finished typing this tweet."

"Brobbits before Hobbits"

"What's the difference between an African American lesbian and someone flying a confederate flag? One's a black that hates dicks, the other's a dick that hates blacks."

"On a walk, my son saw a pay phone asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry."

"Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first"