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Joke of the Day

"What's the United States favorite brand of shortening? San Fran Crisco"

"I once told a girl her ""traditional"" kimono was a rip off of a gofuku. She said ""Gofukurself."""

"What are the three words women hate to hear during sex? ""Honey, I'm home!"""

"Usain bolt is very good at running... He had tons of practice trying to escape the police when he was a kid."

"My girlfriend and I decided to make a sex tape. But I came too quickly so we made a Vine. (Saw something similar in a meme so I can't take the credit)"

"I couldn't decide whether to be an environmentalist or a conservationist... ...so I killed two birds with one stone."

"My girlfriend wanted to have sex in the back seat of my car And she wanted me to drive."

"Why did the traitor wear two watches? Because he's a two timer."

"What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart? An actress."

"Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job."