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Joke of the Day
"What's the United States favorite brand of shortening? San Fran Crisco"
Next Joke
"Certain religions condemn eating pig meat. They're against the idea of cannibalism."
"""You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this"" -Guy who invented shovels"
"I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire."
"Women are like boats I'd rather pay for the occasional ride than go through the hassle of having my own."
"[emptying spam] ME: Why do I have so much canned meat?"
"My gym teacher said get in line or ill tip a cow. i asked ""how much money are you gonna tip the cow?"""
"Finally finished carving GOOGLE EARTH CAN SUCK IT - plus a rude emoticon - into the face of a massive cliff. Now... we wait."
"*looks up from phone* ...nah *looks back down*"
"What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths? Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out."