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Joke of the Day

"Why did the cat go to the doctors? Because it wasn't feline well"

"What's worse than being a tanning salon owner in Africa? Being a Somali Uber driver in Columbus, Ohio."

"What has two arms and 14 legs? Guy who collects legs."

"Why are lesbians such poor cooks? Because they love to eat out."

"Note to self: Used VHS tapes do not make good emergency gifts, always go with stuff from the freezer."

"If someone is spitting behind you, it means you're in front."

"When is a car no longer a car? When it turns into a driveway"

"Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned."

"Son: Dad, why'd you name me Achilles? He's from Greek mythology. Dad: Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."

"Why were the Soviets able to beat the Western Allies to Berlin? Because they were Russian!"