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Joke of the Day
"I have the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the Lincoln Park Zoo"
Next Joke
"I'm pretty confident I can perform this Appendectomy on myself. Thanks YouTube"
"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."
"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."
"Women who live in glass houses shouldn't complain about the glass ceiling"
"Ghosts... I didn't believe in ghosts until this one night, it was like 3 am, and I decided to start believing in ghosts."
"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why does he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?"
"Sometimes I use big words I don't understand to make myself look more photosynthesis"
"I'm reading this amazing novel called ""Dictionary"", I'm only halfway through but I'm pretty sure the Zebra did it...."
"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""