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Joke of the Day
"What do you say to a woman with one black eye? Nothing, you've already told her."
Next Joke
"What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon? Tennish."
"I love wearing my ""I'm with Stupid"" t-shirt... I have no friends."
"What's the difference between an orange? One of them doesn't."
"What do robots eat? A bit of this and a byte of that. Courtesy of /u/DabsyGalore here http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/1dnslv/i_made_a_working_rollercoaster_using_only_canned/c9s630i"
"Obese People: When your skeleton can't support your mass enough to walk? That's Darwinism's attempt to prevent further hunting & gathering."
"Kevin Spacey once agreed to do a low-budget movie with a badly-written two-dimensional character... ...on the condition that he be credited in the cast as ""Kevin Planey."""
"Knock knock Who's there? Little old lady Little old lady who? I didn't know you could yodel!"
"A man sitting in a publisher's office has his memoir turned down for a third time... He sighed and said ""story of my life."""
"Everything anew I went home yesterday to find all my furniture replaced.I asked my roommate ""What the hell"" and he replied ""Who are you""."