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Joke of the Day

"I was there when my wife gave birth... I was there when my wife gave birth. I watched as piss came out, and then shit. I think my wife regrets letting me name the twins."

Next Joke
 
"Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car? To cut the corners!"
"What kind of bird flies around bays? Bagles"
"What is Hitler's favorite reality show? The Amazing Race"
"hey look! *picks up a tiny ghost costume off pavement* how cool is thi ew why is it wet? ""dude, that's a condom"""
"Doctor, How was the surgery? surgery? But... was this not an autopsy???!!!"
"Have girl problem? Feel bad for you son. I live in Russia. Have 99 problems. Bear ate car. Wife ate bear. Son ate wife. I eat son now?"
"The Mexican magician The Mexican Magician tells the audience she will disappear on the count of three. He says ""uno...dos...*poof*"" he disappeared without a tres."
"TIL the odds, as a male college student, of having sex with a given college girl. One in four"
"The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse."
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