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Joke of the Day

"People are always impressed to hear that I graduated from Harvard at 16, but you can do anything you set your mind to if you just lie."

"I'm not a professional photographer, I'm just a club photographer. I take pictures at the club & people pay me to delete them."

"How do thieves kiss? They make out like bandits."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a potato? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you."

"My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run."

"What do an elephant and a giraffe have in common? They are both gray except for the giraffe."

"We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time."

"If you had to steal a bike from someone, who would it be? A black guy, because it's probably already stolen."

"Once you... Once you go black, you're a single mother."