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Joke of the Day

"how do you help gay psychopaths? With a straight jacket ."

"I almost accused a 10 yr old of stealing my dance moves but it turns out he just really had to go to the bathroom & didn't know where it was"

"Stolen Gate The other day, I looked out my window to see two guys stealing my side gate! I didn't say anything to them though. I didn't want them to take offence."

"Commas make all the difference He was fucking up, until the end. He was fucking, up until the end."

"I got an STD from a Canadian woman Hepatitis eh."

"Did you hear about the gay broom? Spent 10 years in the closet."

"I'm here for whatever you need me to do from the couch."

"A bug hit the windshield and my Grandma said: ""I bet he won't have the guts to do that again!"""

"Been married six months and I can't even remember the last time I felt lucky on Google."

"the idiots at NASA just hit Jupiter with one of their fireworks"