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Joke of the Day

"I almost accused a 10 yr old of stealing my dance moves but it turns out he just really had to go to the bathroom & didn't know where it was"

"I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::...:::::"

"Why did the clam go to jail? For setting up illegal shell companies!"

"Do you know why a gun is better than a wife? You can put a silencer on a gun."

"That's the problem with exhibitionists. They're fucking everywhere."

"I like to make jokes about summarizing stories without context. For example: *...Long story short, my mother isn't allowed to walk on the neighbor's lawn anymore*"

"How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up"

"What company makes Nerds? Your mom."

"I Always Give 100% [FIXED] 20% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 20% on Wednesday..."

"I used to be in to S & M, Necrophilia, and Beastiality... But then I realized I was beating a dead horse."