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Joke of the Day

"Why is it ""romantic"" when Aladdin sings A Whole New World while flying on a carpet but ""pathetic"" when I sing it while laying on a bath mat?"

"What lives in gum trees ? Stick insects !"

"[gathers around casket and see's it's full of gatorade] uh oh, then that means [grandma's body is being dumped over the winning coach]"

"Making a Good Analogy is as Hard as... As hard as... As hard as..."

"We always bought our cars used, this one was as black as the night- -that is, until we washed it!!!"

"I wanted to make a joke about quantum superpositions But I couldn't decide on one."

"borrow money from a pessimist Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."

"When a squirrel runs on the road then turns around quickly is it because he thinks he left his little squirrel iron on?"

"What do homeless people get for Christmas? Hypothermia."

"A girl who I've been seeing goes to sleep early. But that's mostly from the chloroform."