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Joke of the Day

"And then one day you realize you're older and fatter than old fat Elvis."

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"Al Gore should start a band and call it Algoreithms."
"What does Jesus do with all the money he gets from church tithings? Jesus saves."
"Do you know the major difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race."
"What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used? Your mom."
"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, my grandfather stole my money."
"I've been told I'm a compulsive liar and a hypochondriac but I don't worry about it."
"My buddy tells me he doesn't take criticism too well. I told him he should really work on that."
"Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out."
"I am not racist I have black shampoo and white conditioner!!"